The Battle

The reality is...I am overweight. Yes, slightly embarrassing to admit this on the ole' world wide web, but I can justify it with good cause. I've had 2 babies in the past nearly 3 years. #1 will be 3 in March and #2 is almost 6 months old. Justify? Yes, in my head I can because it's baby weight...and lack of discipline. Pre #1, I was at my prime. I was at my thinnest and my strongest. I credit it to serious time put in at the gym and feeling like I lost the love of my life. When we got together it was pure magic but we both had baggage. It was perfect until it wasn't. They say if you love something let it go, and that's what happened. We still talked and saw each other here and there but it was a good 3 months of not being together, but yet kind of being together. I was a mess, I dieted and went to the gym practically every day. I wanted to look good for him, to get him back. I will admit that I felt ah-maze-ing to be in that good of shape. I was pretty thin, but ask me to move a couch with a friend, or a solid wood bureau no problem. (I actually did this). I'll get into our back history in posts to come but long story short I got him back. We believe we were always meant to be together, and that everything leading up to "us" in our lives was meant to happen. So with our belief, our break up and getting my body in the best shape of my life, was all part of the events leading us to where we are now. I'm happily married to my best friend--the best friend I could have ever imagined. We have two beautiful healthy babies. Life is truly amazing. I'm about 35 pounds over the weight I would like to be. This is still 15 pounds heavier than I was at my fittest. Here are a few things that come to mind when thinking of my weight issues: It's been a STRUGGLE to find the motivation to loose weight and fortunately yet unfortunately a break up just isn't an option. I'm comfortable with my husband and his love and attraction for me. I'm busy with the kids and meal planning is tough. I munch off my little lady's plate when she has left overs. I love fast food...I really do. I let sweets back into my life while pregnant with #1 and have been indulging since. I want to fit into my clothes again. I. over. eat. I'm unhappy and self conscious--sad because I know what it feels like to be extremely confident in my body and I'm the polar opposite now. Among other things, I made a New Year's resolution to loose weight so the journey has started...let the battle begin.